Attack of the Killer MarySues!
by CartoonFreak56
Summary: A halfa!sue come to Amity, and makes all the canons act like idiots with her trecherous Mary Sue abilities. Only Sue Slayer Sam can save that day. If your are an admitted Suethor, you probably will not like this story.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so the other day, I'm sitting the compy, reading crappy fanfics, when I decided that practically EVERY SINGLE OC is a MAry-Sue. (Notice I said "practically")

So I'm thinking _God, there are so many of those freaking Sues and Stus, they could form an entire army._

Then I'm all like _HOLY CRAP! FANFIC IDEA!_ Thus, my new fanfic.

And so it begins...

Deep in the ghost zone, in the most obscure door, there was a mystery. All the ghosts talked about it, and all of them feared it. Even Pariah Dark, King of all Ghosts, was afraid to go into the door.

Because past the door was where all the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus lived. But they didn't live in homes. It was a boot camp.

"TEN-HUT!" spat the drill seregent. The Mary-Sues lined up in front of him, looking as spotless and beautiful as ever. The seregent paced bac kand forth across the line. There had to be hundreds of Sues. Finally, he stopped at one with long, blonde hair and blue eyes.

"ANNOYING NAME, ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON CHARACTERS, AND ANNOYING POWERS?" He hollared at her face.

She stepped forward.

"Sir, yes sir! My name is Lauren! I moved to Amity Park and became Danny's girlfriend instantly and made Sam jealous! I have ghost powers more powerful than Danny's , but he doesn't know I have powes!" She stepped back in line. The seregent nodded at her.

He continued pacing along the line, and stopped at a goth girl wearing black eyeliner.

"ANNOYING NAME, ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON CHARACTERS, AND ANNOYING POWERS?"

She stepped forward.

"Sir, yes sir! My lame is Jenna! I am Danny and Sam's daughter from the future! I am also half-ghost!" She stepped back.

The seregent looked pleased with his group of Sues. Meanwhil, across the lake at Gary-Stu camp...

"ANNOYING NAME, ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON CHARACTERS, AND ANNOYING POWERS?" yelled another drill seregent at one of the hundreds of boys lined up.

"My name is Joseph! I recently moved to Amity Park, and I instantly became best friends with Danny, Tucker, and Sam! I have to power of seeing ghosts that are intangible!" He stepped back.

The seregent surveyed the rest of the pack, and roared at another boy, "ANNOYING NAME, ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON CHARACTERS, AND ANNOYING POWERS?"

He stepped out of line.

"My name is Jerry! I was raised by Vlad, and instantly knew that Danny had ghost powers when I met him! I also have ghost powers!"

The seregent looked pleased with his haul as well.

"Now we plan out attack..."

_Alright, you know the drill. Get up, not pay attention in school, and prepare for Lancer..._ Danny told himself as he woke up and began his usual Monday morning routine.

Danny completed his morning ritual, and stumbled out the door to the bus stop, where he met Sam and Tucker. Suddenly, his breath turned blue, and he dove behind a tree to transform.

He bolted upwards at 112 miles per hour, but there was no danger to be found. But there was a ghost. And it was the most beautiful thing Danny had ever seen. She had long, flowing blonde hair the glistened in the sunlight, and bright blue eyes.

"Hey you," she flirted.

It was just then that Danny had realized that he was drooling. He quickly cleaned up his saliva, and introduced himself.

"H-Hi...I'm Phantom Danny...Err, I'm Danny Phantom," he stuttered.

The girl giggled. "I'm Lauren. It's nice to meet you, too," she said flying away.

Danny was in a trance-like state, staring at the girl. Suddenly, Tucker yelled, "Danny! Let's go! You're going to miss the bus!"

As Lauren flew away, she took out her cell phone and dialed a few numbers. "I've done it. Phase one, complete. Mary-Sues shall rule the world!"


	2. Chapter 2

Danny made it to class juts on time. He slid into his regular seat as discretly as possible, as usual. He dumped his stuff in the empty seat next to him, like he always did. But today was different, because our Mary-Sue is about to do something very Mary-Sueish.

"Hey, I'm Lauren" said Lauren as she walked into the door, in her human form. Of course, she was sooooooo beautiful she made Danny totally forget that he had met a ghost named Lauren earlier.

"Is this seat taken?" shae asked, pointing to the one next to Danny.

"Um, no, go right ahead. Are you new?"

"Yeah. I just moved here from...uh...a far away place?"

Danny was too distracted by her beuaty to realize that she was acting strange, or to realize that 2 other new kids had walked in to the class. 

"Alright class, let's begin," Lancer snorted.

"Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!" Lauren whispered. Danny pretended to giggle at her frutiness, but Sam, who was sitting behind Danny, mouthed "GAG ME."

After an entire class period of everyone acting out of character, Danny, Sam, and Lauren went over to meet the 2 new boys.

"I'm Joseph," said one of them.

"I'm Jerry," said the other. Then, by some weird thought wave or something, Jerry somehow realized that danny had ghost powers.

"Cool, let's hang out after school with our other friend, Tucker," Danny said for no apparent reason.

After school, Danny had asked Lauren to meet him by his locker. Alone.

"Hey Danny!" she exclaimed. "What is it?"

"Lauren, you should go out with me, because thousands of my fangirls around the world would be jealous! And because you're hotter than the sun."

"Anything that will make fangirls jealous! I love you Danny!" and she kissed Danny, because Mary-Sues totally like to kiss Danny randomly.

"Well, now that THAT'S over with, let's go to my house and we can act even MORE out of character!"

"Yes, lets!" Lauren said, grinning evily.

Danny and Lauren met Sam and the others in Danny's basement.

"Hey Sam!" yelled Danny. "I've got a hot gilrfriend! Aren't you jealous?" Danny teased.

But before Sam could come up with a good come back, a swirling, purple gate appeared in front of them. 

"Oooo, it's so pretty!" Tucker exclaimed in a girly voice. "I want to touch it!" Tucker thrust out his arm and touched the purple mass with his index finger. Then, as if by magic, a goth girl about Danny's age walked out of the gate.

"Hi!" the girl said. "I'm Jenna! I like randomly appearing out of portals and making people act out of character! I'm Danny and Sam's daughter from the future. I have no idea why I'm telling you all this either! Probably because I'm a retarted Mary-Sue, but who knows!"

"Wait, so _I_ end up with SAM? But she's not as hot as Lauren!" Danny yelled, dumbfounded.

"Shut it Danny! You an I both know that we both desperatly want to make out with eachother!" Sam said dancing around.

"See?" said Jenna, pointing her thumb at Sam. "One of my powers is making Canon character act like out of character dorks! Oh, and have I randomly mentioned to you that I have ghost powers?"

"Ok, sure Jenna," Said Sam. "Do you want to hang out and party with us?"

"YEAH!" Yelled Tucker "Let's all act retarted and weird and pretend to have some idea what's going on!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Danny!" called Maddie from upstairs. "What's going on down there? Are you all acting like out of character idiots?"

"Yeah, pretty much!" Yelled Danny. "We're also partying with my daughter form the future, wanna come?" he said, because parents are ALWAYS invited to parites.

"Oh gosh Danny!" Then Maddie charged into the room and started breakdancing and looking like an idiot. How she learned to breakdance is beyond me.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared in the stairway. Maddie spun out of control and stared at the shadow, and everyone's mouth's dropped open. On the stairs was Lancer, sans his normal teacher outfit. Instead, he was wearing a mesh mini-skirt with thigh-high lace-up high-heeled leather boots.

"Let's get this party started, homies!" he said, refering to his 'Unhip to Hip' book.

Lauren smiled to herself. One of her OTHER hidden powers was the abilty to make Canon characters randomly appear and do random stuff.

Just then, Vlad popped out of the ghost portal.

"Don't mind me, I'm probably just a figment of your imaginations! I like to appear in Mary-Sue fics such as this one! Oh and by the way, you look hot in that."  
He said sarcastically at Lancer.

Jenna went into a corner and radioed the general.

"All the Canons have randomly appeared in one spot. Now we attack."

It was one big OOC party at the in the Fenton's basement. They had invited anyone who wanted to act out of character. Sam was hitting on Lancer, Tucker was doing the 'Glad I'm an only child dance', Jazz was vandalizing school property, Danny was releasing ghosts from the ghost zone and laughing his ass off as each one flew by, and Maddie was chasing Vlad around the room like a maniac trying to kiss him as Vlad screamed in terror with his hands in the air proclaiming that she was an icky girl who had cooties.

Just as Lancer got into the chorus of 'My Humps', a deafening explosion came from upstairs. Being under the Mary-Sue spell, no one bothered to see what it was, and they continued acting like retards.

"Ima get get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hu-" Lancer was suddenly cut off by a giant blaster ray nailing him in the chest and sending his shoes flying through the air.

((OMG iv'e lyk alwas wntd 2 c sum1s shus fly of!111!1!1111...Please ignore this 3rd person commentary))

"HEY!" Sam yelled furiously. "He was just getting to the good part!"

The source of the blast was a tall, silver robot carrying the giant gun.

"Hey guys! I'm everybody's favorite generic villian! I'm going to blast all of you now, and since you're all acting like idiots, this should be easy!" said the robot in a mechanical voice.

"Oh, me first, me first!" Danny said excitedly raising his hand and jumping up and down. "Blast me first!"

"Yeah right!" yelled Vlad, pushing Danny with such great force that he flew into the wall. "I'M the one you'll be beaming first!"

"In your dreams, old man!" Sam cried, elbowing him in the gut. "Give me all you got, generic robot villian!"

"With pleasure," said the robot maniacally.

A strange, pink energy began to form around the tip of the gun. It grew and grew, until it was bigger than Danny's head. The beam fired out at Sam, sending her flying into the wall and disappearing somwhere in the foundation.

Suddenly, Sam felt like she had snapped out of a trance.

_...What? Why am I here? Why did I do that...?_ she thought. She scanned her memory of the past day, and pieced together the pieces of the puzzle.

_Oh God!_ she finally realized. _We're trapped in a humerous parody of a Suefic! _


	4. Chapter 4

Sam thought hard.

'I've got to protect the other from the Sues! But how!' she thought. She reached her hand into her back pocket as she thought, and she felt something sharp protruding out of it.

"Hello? What's this…?"

She pulled out the strange, plastic, cheaply-made object to find that it was a Sues worst nightmare-The Spork!

"Yes! I forgot I had lunch at Wendy's! Thank god for unexplained events in this horrible, horrible Suefic!"

Sam intrepidly climbed out of the gigantic hole in the wall, which no one had really noticed or cared about. She wasn't surprised to find that the situation hadn't changed much since her trip back to santiy. Danny, Tucker, and Vlad were continuously arguing about who would get a 5,000 volt shock by the robot next, and the others were simply drooling over the Sues flawless complexion, hair, and how they all looked exactly like a female version of Danny. Yeah, you heard me. Drooling. Big, cartoon wads of blue, shiny saliva seeping from their slack jaws and oozing and dripping and pattering onto the linoleum floor.

Sam pushed their groveling bodies out of her way. She caught a few wads of spit in her face as it flew off their lips.

"You're not a girl!" Sam yelled at Lauren. "You're a no-good, self-insert, low-life, OOC-inducing sue! You've dragged everyone into this, which could be the worst Suefic of all time, as your mindless, groveling slaves in a plot to take over the world!"

"So you've pieced it together, huh?" Lauren said casually, examining her fingernails. "But what are you going to do about it? My Sue-ish charm and powers have all your 'friends' at my mercy!"

"Ah, or so you might think…." Sam said sinisterly sneaking her hand into her pocket. "But………I unlike them know your one weakness!" Sam exclaimed as she thrust the spork into the air.

Laurens eyes widened as she backed away from Sam. "No! How did you know my ultimate weakness is the spork! You can't do this to me! I'm the self-Insert!"

Sam smiled as she gave Lauren a light tap on the arm, barely grazing her with the pointy end of the spork.

"You're not the self-insert," Sam remarked, as Lauren began to melt into a puddle of Tab on the floor. "CartoonFreak56 is WAY cooler than you."

As soon as Lauren was in a puddle, Sam examined the mess.

"Wow. Sues are made of Tab? Do they even make that stuff anymore?" she pondered, raising an eyebrow to herself.

"Sadly, yes," said a voice from behind. "You can actually get cancer from that crap, so I guess it's not really surprising that Sues are made of it."

Sam spun around and saw the others, clearly not under the Sue spell any longer. "Danny! Tucker! Mr. Fenton! Mrs. Fenton! Jazz!...And…..Lancer……And…..…Vlad……….." she trailed off.

The two frowned rigidly down at her.

Sam ignored them. "How did you break the spell?" she said as she embraced Danny and Tucker.

"When Lauren meted into a puddle of Tab, the other Sues and the robot got scared, and ran back to Sue-Land in the ghost zone," Maddie explained.

"I think it's best that we FORGET everything that happened here. And maybe not mention this to anyone?" said Danny.

It seemed like everything would return to normal, except for one thing……

"Henry the VIII!" Lancer suddenly exclaimed, looking wide-eyed and open-jawed at his ridiculous attire. "What in the name of H. G. Wells am I WEARING?"

THE END

Thank you, thank you, you've been a great audience. If you liked the story, feel free to tell me how awesome I am by commenting, and look out for my next Sue-Sporking tale, a parody of the Sue-isms of the episode Kindered Spirits. Note that I took a few 'creative liberties' on it. If you didn't like the story, then I'm not your friend anymore.


End file.
